More thoughts on Ello

Now that I've been using Ello for a longer time, I can speak more to its strengths and faults.  For the unaware, Ello is a brand-new, invitation-only social network that is now making headlines across the world.  The cynic with a degree in psycho or socio will point out that its popularity is linked to fear of missing out, while the economist may claim that demand is linked to scarcity, but I disagree.  Vehemently.  Honestly, I couldn't give two-thirds of a rabbit's fart whether Ello is invitation-only or not.  I like it because of its underground ethos and its no-bullshit design.  There are other reasons why I like it, but those require a fair bit of explanation.

I do not like to talk about aspects of my mind or personality on here.  Ever.  But I think it's all right to say that I am an intensely verbal person.  I see the world not in pictures or in textures, but in words.  Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am something of a grammar fascist, and most definitely a spelling fascist.  I mean, I do like pictures, which is why I have an Instagram (no, you can't have it), but it's not a social thing for me, it's just where I put my family pictures.  I "suffer" from alphabetic synaesthesia.  Most of my creative projects involve words or letters in some way.

Social media wasn't built for me.  Whenever I try to write something with some actual fucking meaning on Fuckbook (no, you can't have that either), it comes out as two sentences and then "Read more" under that.  Fuck you, Facebook.  Fuckbook.  Instagram, well, that's purely a picture sharing site for me.  Pinterest?  What's Pinterest?  And Twatter, well, it's great for political discourse (bile and venom from Scottish nationalists not withstanding) but the 140 character limit is extremely stifling.  You try commenting on the exceedingly convoluted situation in Iraq and the Levant (that's Syria for you youngsters) in 140 characters or less.  Can't be done.  I assure you.

I think the whole thing started, rather unfortunately, with Google Plus.  In fact, Ello reminds me a lot of Google Plus in the early days.  Both platforms have had uniquely interesting early adopters.  Plus had many tech people, geeks, nerds of all shapes, sizes, colours, and creeds.  Ello has artists and designers.  The discussions on both are, or rather were, germane, interesting, and to the point.  The designs of both Plus in the early, closed beta days, and Ello today, subtly but noticeably encouraged this.  Unfortunately, when Plus opened to the public, the design was changed to something more busy and the one feature the early adopters desperately needed was not implemented.

I am speaking, of course, about threaded discussions.  When there were 20 comments on a thread, you could read the conversation and be enlightened by the sharing of ideas.  Now, however, there is an absolute goatfuck, because when there are 500 comments from some very intellectual people, the conversation takes so many twists and turns that you eventually say "fuck it" and facepalm.

That's just a minor problem though.  The far bigger piece of shit is some picture blogging site called Pinterest or something like that.  It's apparently like Instagram, but more for sharing what you like rather than your own personal pictures.  I don't know.  I don't use it, have never used it, and won't ever use it.  But Google Plus and Fuckbook took notice, and so Plus was "artfully" redesigned so that everybody's pictures choked up whatever little space was left for text.  Fuckbook created its "innovative" Timeline.  Makes me want to bang my head against my desk every fucking time I see it.

I honestly think the word "innovation" is being used today as a synonym for "shit".  Look at Windows 8.  It's full of innovations.  Facebook, same.  Myspace?  Anyone remember Myspace?  Also kept touting innovations.  Someone has to get a chainsaw and cut through all the innovation!

And then there's the bullshit "like" feature.  Google Plus calls it +1.  Twitter has Favourites.  Fuckbook has Likes.  Ello has none of these.  The closest you can get is by commenting "LIKE!" or the string :bread:.  I like this, because instead of the instant, dilaudid-like gratification that comes with mindlessly mashing the like button, you get a more lasting buzz by commenting and engaging in the discussion.  I would call it taking morphine tablets by mouth.  Not the instant, powerful high that injecting dilaudid creates, but more of a soft but lasting feeling.

The downsides all come because Ello is in its infancy.  It smells and hasn't yet learned how to walk properly, but it has the makings of a great adult within it.  The big problem is the grey text on white background.  White on black would be much, much better.  Another problem is the lack of a private messaging facility, but I think this will be sorted out in due course as well.  The crashiness on the home page has already been resolved.

There are some things I miss.  Notifications need to be on their own, separate page.  As of now they're on the main Friends page (rather than on Noise---for the non-Elloers, Noise is the secondary Friends page for people that you don't want to read all the time).  I'd much rather have them either on Noise, or on a separate notification page.  Also, if you're reading this, Ello team, please release an Android app.  Trying to read Ello on an Android tablet is fucking hell on wheels.

To be honest, I feel like mirroring this blog on a separate Ello account.  I mean, I have the invites, right?  I don't suppose it'll garner too many hits but one can only hope.  To Ello!

Anyway, I hope this thing becomes the new Facebook.  But I gotta take an innovation.