On the Peaceful Pill

Although the title of this posting refers to a pill---a drug in tablet form---perhaps it is misleading.  When one thinks of ending their laborious existence after a disabling or terminal disease---those of the gentler sex especially---the first idea that comes to mind tends to be a cocktail of medication.

People experiencing grave, seemingly intractable, pain, as well as those suffering from progressive (degenerative) illnesses, most often can benefit from taking their own life; those that choose to do so generally wish to undertake their demise with more dignity than afforded by the splatter of brains and blood from one of the more common means of suicide---the gun shot wound to the head---or morbidly swinging from the ceiling, to the discomfort of their relatives.  Suicides by poisoning, when contrasted to those by gunshot or hanging, look so much more peaceful in their eternal sleep; the emotional cost, therefore, to friends and family is made much less.

I have never understood the controversy stirred up by the phrase "physician-assisted suicide"; the practice of withdrawal of life support for patients in a long-term comatose state, without their own consent, seems to me to be far more against human rights.  As a simple example, compare the case of Dr Freud's suicide against the "mercy killings"---nothing more or less than murder---perpetrated on Terri Schiavo and Tracy Latimer.

Even though the mercy killings of Terri Schiavo and Tracy Latimer were inhumane, that of Latimer went punished far worse (life in prison) than that of Schiavo, which was legal and therefore not punishable, yet Latimer, who died at the hands of her father via carbon monoxide poisoning, suffered far less than Terri Schiavo, who died in the agony of hunger, over several weeks.

I have thought much of choosing the time, place, and manner of my death.  As some of you readers may know, I suffer from severe leg injuries, as well as scoliosis of the back.  This fills my life with pain; in fact, my life almost revolves around the reduction of physical pain.  My medical team is giving me oxycodone for the time being.  If this is taken away, I will most likely score heroin off the street.

I am not ready, by far, to die; I feel that I have a chance at a long and fulfilling life.  However, I know that "potential" rarely translates to "actual".  Therefore. I am somewhat pessimistic---actually, I would say "realistic"---about my future prospects.  I may, perhaps, become a successful tax lawyer in London or New York; however, there is as much chance of that happening, realistically speaking, as of Hell freezing over.

When one's life comes crashing down about his ears, it is time to die; I would sooner do this by opiate poisoning than by shooting or hanging. Yet my medical team is reluctant to provide me with enough opiates to control my pain, not mentioning to gently drift off into nothingness.

What kind of a world do we live in, when one is unable to choose the time, place, and manner of one's death?  Now, one is forced to use a brutal, violent, and ugly way of exiting the world, when a peaceful one is available, but nearly impossible to obtain legally!