Welcome to Canuck politics.

As you may or may not know, I live in a large city in Ontario, a province of Canada.  The provincial election is coming up, which means that the three major parties of Ontario (the Conservatives, the labour-centric New Democrats, and the Liberals) are campaigning... and so is the Green "Party".  Those who know me personally already know that I agree with the Conservative stance on issues of economics and culture, and with the New Democrats on labour law and foreign policy.  The Liberals were once a hulking giant; in recent years, however, their federal leaders have been, for lack of a better word, morons.  This, perhaps, is what led to their crushing defeat last election, after which Chief Moron Michael "Iggy" Ignatieff made a non-resignation speech, followed almost immediately by his resignation.  The separatists of Quebec lost official party status, and the Queen Cow of the federal Greens, Elizabeth May, finally got a seat to put her withered, flatulent arse on (I think she's personally responsible for 95% of the greenhouse gasses in the atmosphere today).

Despite these major changes (and they truly were major), almost nothing has changed in the political climate with the exception of the fact that the Conservatives now form a simple majority (more than half, in other words) of Commons.  When it comes to politics, I almost never deal in facts and figures; those are for the historians to review and argue over.  I deal in accuracy: a verbal photograph, if you will, of the political scene, right here, right now.  What happened last federal election is also going to happen this provincial elections... mostly.  Ontario, particularly the provincial capital of Toronto, leans left-of-centre; this means that many of our recent Premiers have been affiliated with the Liberal Party.  For those of us that don't see past the Great Wall of Bullshit, the eighth Wonder of the World, the Liberals are a left-wing party.  They might paint themselves as centrist, but the reality is that they are left-wing in all areas, with the exception of organised labour, the part that counts.  By harmonising the federal and provincial sales taxes, Mr McGuilty effectively punished rich and middle-class alike.  No handouts or tax reductions were given to Canada's heart and soul: people who work (for a living or otherwise).  Instead, the unemployed and the unemployable now live like kings.  I seem to recall that it is more financially advantageous to be unemployed than it is to be employed earning less than a certain amount, which I do not remember.

Rant over.  Now, back to your scheduled programming: before the Canadian federal election, the leaders of the four political parties had a debate, which was televised (on numerous channels, actually).  Present were Prime Minister Stephen Harper (Conservative), Mr Ignatieff, Gilles Duceppe (Bloc Quebecois), and John Layton (New Democratic Party, God rest his soul).  The "leader" of the federal Green "party", Mrs May, was not invited for one reason, and it is not the one she claimed (i.e. the Canadian government does not care about the environment).  The simple reason that the Greens were not represented at the debate was that the debate examined each party's agenda (that is, their stance on various issues and their future plans).  These issues fell into realms as wide as foreign policy, taxation, and cultural diversity.  The Greens have only one agendum: the environment.  Therefore, asking Mrs May questions in reference to, for example, the war in Mesopotamia, would not represent the agenda of the Greens collectively; the answer would only be representative of Mrs May's personal agenda.  Furthermore, until the last federal election, the Greens had not a single seat in Parliament.  Taking into consideration these two facts, only an idiot would be indignant that his or her loose association of independent candidates (because that's what the Green "Party" is) would not be represented at a debate.

Mrs May, therefore, quite clearly is an idiot.  She did get her seat, though; it was inevitable, and it is crucial to have a diverse parliament.  I would have enjoyed the added diversity in Parliament if it had been anyone but Mrs May.  Beyond being an advocate for nucular power, I am not an environmentalist, just as I am not an advocate for euthanasia with the exception of assisted suicide (by a physician or otherwise).  However, if there weren't people in Parliament that disagreed with me, it wouldn't be a democracy, would it?  The problem is not Mrs May's environmental activism, or her independent views; it is the blatant flaws in her character and personality.  Political views aside, Elizabeth May is a cell-for-cell clone of Sheila Copps (or Hilary Clinton if you're American). Dear Lord, you can have both Mrs Copps and Mrs Clinton, just please, please, please give us back our Jack!

Now, I hate to tar a whole group of people (again, I hesitate to say "party" because they really aren't one) with the same brush, but I'm beginning to think they're smoking the same thing they're hugging.  As I alluded to before, history repeats itself.  There was a debate yesterday, in which the New Democrats, the Liberals, and the Conservatives were represented by Andrea Horwath, M.L.A., Premier Dalton McGuilty, and Timothy Hudak, M.L.A., respectively.  The Ontario Greens, led by Michael Schreiner (not an M.L.A.), were not, coincidentally (or not), represented.  Mr Schreiner staged a (very public) protest, contemporaneously with the debate, and, once again, that old and hoary maxim was proven to be right: it is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.  "The debate is happening down the street, and we need to shout to show them we're here, and that the [Ontario Greens] will not be silenced!"  the Green Party was just plain irrelevant; it would be more accurate to say that Mr Schreiner was absent.  Mr Schreiner "addressed the Green Party policy initiatives he would have raised," Mrs Grainger wrote, "including the creation of a carbon tax [like we don't have enough taxes already], freezing tuition rates, lowering energy costs [for who?!] by reducing energy usage, and controlling healthcare costs [you are speaking from a position of ignorance, mate!]... by... improved access to healthy food."  First of all, if you want to put in a carbon tax, you'd better lower some other taxes!  Second of all, just whose energy costs do you want to lower?  There is only one way to consistently reduce energy usage, and this is to make it less convenient (in other words, more expensive).  This would hit the consumer hard, and that was when Mr Schreiner put his foot in his mouth.  The people who vote Green are generally part of what is called the counter-culture; they may be stoners, anarchists, hippies, or something entirely different, but it is safe to say that many people who vote for the Greens are anti-government, anti-regulations, and anti-establishment. Making energy expensive, or hard-to-get in some other way, would make Mr Schreiner very unpopular with his voter base.  I agreed with his mention of making healthy, nutritious food easier to get; however, Mr Schreiner, where are your medical credentials?  That's right; nowhere.  I understand there's a loose association between healthy eating and healthy bodies... but coming right out and saying that healthcare costs will be lower because of easy access to nutritious food is a logical fallacy.  I forget which; I'm too stoned to tell.

See that big thing up in the sky, though?  That's the flying fuck Ontario doesn't give about the Greens.  Sure, okay, Mrs May has a seat in Parliament.  At this point, though, Mrs May has no political clout; she is far from the fly in the ointment she says she is.  She is more like a mosquito: invisible, stupid, and very hard to finally swat.  Thankfully, you can wear ear plugs for a mosquito, and that is, essentially, what the M.P.'s have been doing till now with Mrs May.  I see no reason why this will turn out any different from the federal election.  Schreiner will get his seat, nobody will give a shit.