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Monday, March 26, 2012

(UNIX) Keyboarding as God Intended - Ubuntu

For most users, Caps Lock is a redundant, rarely-used feature; for the rest, it should be.  It occupies, however, a piece of prime real estate on the keyboard: right next to the letter 'A'.  Meanwhile, the far more important Ctrl key, used every few minutes to accomplish tasks in less time, is in a decidedly more awkward position.  There are ways to fix it, though; this short stub will explain how to set up the keyboard in my favourite layout, which puts Ctrl where Caps Lock is, Alt where Ctrl is, and Caps Lock where Alt is.  This article supports most UNIXes and Linuxes, but for the last part which is Ubuntu-specific.

We will be creating what is known as a .xmodmaprc file.  To do this, open the terminal.  If you don't know how to do this, look it up on a search engine.  At the prompt, type vim ~/.xmodmaprc and press Enter.  The screen should change; if you don't have Vim installed, find out which editors are installed and use one of them.  Type i to activate insert mode; then type the following exactly as seen here. 

! UNIX-style keyboard
remove Lock = Caps_Lock
remove Control = Control_L
remove Mod1 = Alt_L
keysym Caps_Lock = Control_L
keysym Control_L = Alt_L
keysym Alt_L = Caps_Lock
add Lock = Caps_Lock
add Control = Control_L
add Mod1 = Alt_L


When finished, type [Esc]:wq (that is, the Escape key, followed by a colon, followed by w for write and q for quit).

What we now need to do is to make this run at start-up.  If you are running anything other than Ubuntu, you need to find this on an Internet search engine.  If you are running Ubuntu, type [Alt]+F2 (simultaneously) and enter gnome-session-properties into the box, typing [Enter] afterwards.  In the dialogue box that appears, click the Add button and then the box captioned Name.  Enter something memorable, such as UNIX-style key swap and type [Tab].  In the following box, type /usr/bin/xmodmap /home/[user]/.xmodmaprc, where [user] is your user name.  Exit both dialogue boxes and restart your machine for the settings to take effect.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Why Marilyn Hagerty's Review is Ridiculous

Now, I'm the first to acknowledge that I hate the country.  I would never live anywhere that has any less than half a million inhabitants, unless that place is an internationally-recognised tax shelter (like the British Virgin Islands), or has lots of character (like most small towns in Europe).  My favourite locations include places like Toronto, New York, London, Tortola, and Barcelona; this is in contrast to the Canadian prairies, or Didcot in England, where the air stinks of horse shit and tractors on the road are a common sight.  There are a few reasons why I hate the rural parts of the world, all of them related.

I consider news to include things such as murders, multi-car pile-ups, political campaigns, protests, and celebrity deaths.  A cat stuck in a tree is not news; neither is a traffic accident that incurs no injury or death.  If you think non-news events like this belong in the newspaper or on the telly at six o'clock, you are deluded.  Furthermore, university education is supposed to be the rule, not the exception.  If the whole community honours (or worse, mocks) a handful of residents because they have an education beyond high school, what does this say about the intelligence of everybody else?

Shopping at Carrefour, TESCO, or Sainsbury's (Wal-Mart, Target, or Costco for the Yanks and Canadians reading this) is supposed to be routine, not some sort of special occasion.  I think of it as a weekly thing—if I'm out of sugar, I go to TESCO to buy it.  How can you possibly survive going shopping once every three months?  If there are no national or international chain hypermarkets within ten minutes of your place of residence, why the hell are you still living there?

The reason I love huge chain hypermarkets is the same reason I hate huge chain restaurants: character, or lack thereof.  I can go to a Carrefour in Exeter and expect it to carry the same selection of items as found in a Carrefour in Paris, not to mention London.  With goods that are superior when mass-manufactured, such as automobile tyres and household goods, I expect them to be completely identical.  However, I refuse to eat (and pay a premium for) so-called meals microwaved from frozen and served to me.  This is why I eat at places with actual character.  If I want doughnuts in Toronto, I buy them at Dimpflmeier's, a German bakery with an attached café.  If I want bagels, I'll go to Kiva's or What-A-Bagel, two authentic kike bakeries.  Now, I wouldn't give kikes business, except for the fact that bagels are a kike food.

If you're going to go against what I say and eat at a chain place, here's this piece of incredibly secret knowledge accessible to only an elite cabal of foodies: all of what you eat in one location will be accessible at and be cooked to the same recipe as at a location on the other side of the world.  By the way, if you couldn't detect it from my tone (or are an aspie, retard, moron, or eejit), there is no secret cabal—I was being (gasp!) sarcastic.  There is no elite cabal—everybody who isn't an aspie or a retard knows this.

If you're scratching your head and wondering why the bloody fuck I'm writing this, that's okay.  While I was watching the Chicken Noodle Network today in the throes of a bupey high, I heard something about some sort of viral restaurant review.  I Googled it, and was shocked to read that some old biddy in the backwoods of North Dakota had, in absolute honesty, reviewed the local Olive Garden, of all places, for her town newspaper.  If you haven't eaten at Olive Garden for fifteen years or so and remember it only for its mediocre food, please note that this so-called restaurant has transitioned to serving microwaved frozen food—glorified T.V. dinners, in other words.  Also, Olive Garden is about as authentic as silicone implants, and as Italian as any of the characters on Jersey Shore, especially Jennifer "J-Wow" Farley.  I had to triple-check whether this hadn't somehow been reprinted from The Onion.  It hadn't been.

Please, rural America, I know you're stupid... but don't be that stupid.  Don't vote for Rick Santorum, go to university, and, above all, don't review fast food places and big T.V. dinner chains.

Monday, March 19, 2012

On Buprenorphine


Since the age of 13, I have been taking opiates in moderation for chronic pain. I started with morphine (and the occasional hydromorphone), and since an MVA approximately three years ago (I am now 19), this was briefly supplemented with oxycodone.

As someone who has been on every opiate available, I have formed preferences as to which is best, and I flatly refuse to take others. The classic opiates are the best; these include (dia)morphine, hydromorphone, oxycodone, and fentanyl, although I will not take fentanyl patches due to the O/D risk. I will not take pethidine (Demerol®) or anileridine (Leritine®) for their neurotoxicity (they can cause seizures in high doses, and aren't strong enough, forcing me to take high doses) or tramadol or tapentadol for their thymoleptic (SSRI) activity (they are one step away from the so-called anti-depressants and have a far worse withdrawal). 

I have taken methadone for cough that would not go away and later suffered my first and last episode of drug withdrawal; I liked methadone but hated the very long withdrawal period. I have experience with ketobemidone (Ketogan®), dextromoramide (Palfium®), and dipipanone (Diconal®), but none beats the classic opiates.  I even wrote up an opiate rating chart way back when; buprenorphine isn't included, as I had regrettably not tried this amazing substance before in adequate dose.

I was referred to a doctor who treats primarily addiction cases, but this fellow (who I shall call Dr Smith, because that's his name) agreed to treat my pain even though no addiction existed, then or now. His favourite opioids, in order of preference, are buprenorphine and hydromorphone. Score! I originally insisted on hydromorphone, my favourite opioid. However, Dr Smith refused to supply it unless buprenorphine was first trialled, and I was quickly started on 16 mg of Suboxone®.

Suboxone® is a form of the typical opiate buprenorphine; I use 'typical' here to mean that its effects mirror that of morphine and hydromorphone, with no NMDA hallucinogenic effects such as those that Physeptone® suffers from.  There are three forms of buprenorphine: patch, pill (to be taken under the tongue), and injection.  No swallowable pill exists, as swallowing buprenorphine makes it 1/5 as strong as when taken under the tongue, so making such a version would just plain be wasteful, not to mention liable to abuse; if there were a swallowable version, the doses would be 10, 20, and 40 mgms, like oxycodone.  The patch is for a week, which (in my case) makes it unwieldy and impractical, not to mention not strong enough (doses delivered are in microgrammes per hour—that's right, microgrammes).  Suboxone® is one brand of the oral version of buprenorphine: there are two others, Subutex® and Temgesic®.

Buprenorphine has some disadvantages, though; some are not immediately obvious.  It is unique in its mode of action in that, past a certain point, the duration of the dose will be longer, but diminishing returns in strength will be apparent.  In addition, buprenorphine kicks all other opiates off of their receptors (in effect, it pulls the key out of the lock), and it binds very strongly to opiate receptors once it finds or makes itself a free spot.  This is a mixed advantage and disadvantage; it is tough to overdose, but once a toxic state is reached, good luck fixing it.  The biggest disadvantage is that not every country's medication licencing board has seen fit to approve Suboxone® treatment for pain; it is seen by the FDA, for instance, as purely an addiction treatment—many American doctors disagree though.  The patch, though, is always treated as a pain treatment.

Now, let it here be said that, in the UK, Suboxone® (or a version thereof) is used to treat pain, not just the patches. For marketing reasons, the pain version is called Temgesic® and is priced lower than Suboxone®. Temgesic® is available in 200 µg, 400 µg, and 2 mg versions; Suboxone® is available in 400 µg, 2 mg, and 8 mg versions. Both contain the same ingredients in the same ratios: 4:1 buprenorphine/naloxone.  In Subutex®, no naloxone is included.  Naloxone, also known as Narcan®, is the antidote for morphine poisoning if taken by injection; it will completely reverse the effects of morphine, whether beneficial or harmful.  Narcan® will relieve some effects of morphine and related drugs if taken by mouth—the primary effect it will relieve is that of bowel upset.  

The naloxone is included, not as common myth has us believe, so as to discourage abuse by the intravenous route, but to discourage the primary side-effect of opioids (included in morphine and in oxycodone for the same reasons), namely, difficulties in the lower digestive tract. This is due to buprenorphine binding almost irreversibly to receptors; naloxone will not dislodge it in any way approaching reliable. For pain, Temgesic® is taken four times a day; it is favoured especially in cases of laryngeal malignancy. Canadian doctors have not yet learned of this excellent use of buprenorphine and provide it for that most insidious killer, addiction, only. 

Except Dr Smith, apparently. He put me on buprenorphine for my pain, and I have quickly grown to love it. Sure, it might not offer instant relief, but I'd much rather relief that lasts. Dr Smith, however, was ignorant of the appropriate manner to dose Suboxone in chronic pain; he prescribed it to be used in the time-honoured protocol for addiction management: once per day, supervised. I had issue with this and was permitted to dose it in the British fashion, four times per day, self-supervised. This allows for dose variation, which Dr Smith dislikes intensely, but I favour (narcotics are addictive, after all, and it is nice to take a holiday once in a while). My prescribed dose is 16 mg per day, but I don't take this much as a rule. The most I have ever taken is 8 mg per diem; two halves or four quarters.  My usual dose varies between 4 and 8 mg per diem.

The reason I have grown to love buprenorphine is that it has all the psychological effects of morphine and its sisters; it has qualities of an excellent anti-depressant and anxiolytic, and certainly beats all the synthetics.  No synthetic opiate possesses the excellent quality of morphine, in my opinion.  Some may love methadone, but the green syrup may just drink you up instead of the other way round.  In some situations, buprenorphine is less controlled; this just adds to its appeal, as it's easier to convince a doctor to prescribe it.  Thank God for buprenorphine—I now take no other medication and I am happy this way.  It seems that one's skills are infinitely improved on opiates, for a particularly narrow definition of 'skills': writing, drawing, driving, flying, computer operation, and other sit-down arts of all forms are vastly improved by the added drop of creativity.  Nor is there any sluggishness or motor impairment, as with other drugs.  Opiates are genius in their subtlety—it is sometimes hard to know they're there.

If you ever have the chance of trying buprenorphine or hydromorphone, do it.  You will be very pleasantly surprised.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

And the Award for Idiot of the Month Goes To...


Rick Santorum.  From way up here in not-so-snowy Toronto, Ontario, I heard this disgusting sloppy, sucking sound, like a plug being pulled out of a bathtub drain.  "Oh, fuddle-duddle.  Santorum's got his head up his arse again," I thought.  I switched on my telly, changed the channel to the Chicken Noodle Network, and changed my opinion---Santorum's diagnosis was worse.  Much worse.  Not only was Santorum's head up his arse, but so were both his legs... because he had his feet in his mouth again, too.  Now, I know Santorum appeals mainly to those foetus-worshippers and holier-than-thou Jesus freaks who believe that life begins at erection, but what he said this time around was nothing, if not purified, triple-distilled, steam-separated essence of stupidity.

"President Obama wants everybody in America to go to college [university].  What a snob.  There are good, decent men and women who work hard every day and put their skills to the test that aren't taught by some liberal college professor trying to indoctrinate them.  Oh, I understand why he wants you to go to college.  He wants to remake you in his image."  This is what Rick Santorum shat out at a campaign rally in Detroit, before this Super Tuesday.  Santorum is a hypocrite and a liar, since what Obama really said was that each and every American needed to have the opportunity to go to university; all of Santorum's vile offspring certainly study or have studied at accredited institutes of education.  However, suppose we take this at face value.  What's wrong with every youth in America going to university or college?  Does Santorum want to lower the collective intelligence and in other ways ruin one of the greatest countries in the world?  University has always been, and will always be, the benchmark of intelligence and success in this society.  Not that having a skilled trade certification is bad; I look upon it as being equivalent to any other post-secondary specialisation.  It certainly isn't better than being a doctor or lawyer, the way Santorum would have the American people believe.

Read that quote again: "There are good, decent men... [who] work hard every day... that aren't taught by some liberal college professor trying to indoctrinate them."  *sniff* Do I smell something?  Let's measure just how much bullshit has piled up just in that one sentence.  First of all, Mr Santorum, do you seriously mean to say that a welder or a plumber works harder than a doctor, lawyer, or accountant?  If you do, you seriously have another thing coming... dumbfuck.  Yes, that's right, I said dumbfuck.  Second, liberal college professor?  Seriously?  Now, as far as I can understand, liberal in America doesn't mean the same as it does here; we use the word 'liberal' to mean something like your 'Democrat'; you use the word to mean someone almost obscenely left-leaning, like the opposite of the word 'Fascist'.  Not every college professor is a Democrat, so how can you even say that a majority, or even a significant proportion, is 'liberal'?  Last of all, the role of college is not to indoctrinate you.  The role of college is to teach you how to think on your own, so you don't get indoctrinated.  I guess that's what Santorum wants out of America... sheep.  Poor, stupid, blind sheep.

In Tennessee, he went and spouted his mouth-shaped anus off yet again.  "Why does Obama want everybody to go to college?  So his liberal college professors can be indoctrinating people like he was when he was in college.  People need training; they need skills; but they don't need to go to where Barack Obama thinks they should go.  They need to go where their dreams and their heart wants them to go and where their opportunities fit what's best for them."  What if they want to go--gasp!--to college?  What if the great majority of American youth has dreams and hearts calling them off to academia?  Why should they listen to Rick Santorum and not their hearts and dreams?  College shouldn't be for those who are 'gifted'; college should be for everyone who has two brain cells to rub together.  If you think Santorum can ever lay claim to any form of speech other than the deranged ramblings of a tattered mind, try reading this aloud with a straight face: "More education is not necessarily a good thing."  Now, Santorum never said those words together in one sentence like I've written them right here, but that's what his endless blithering basically boils down to.  College indoctrinates people.  To what, believe in literature and maths and the tensile strengths of aluminium, copper, and silver?  Give me a break.  Give America a break, too.

No wonder Santorum has been satirically re-defined on the Internet as an unprintably obscene concept.  Bearing that in mind, I'll go right ahead and print it for you.  Santorum.  Noun.  The frothy mixture of personal lubricant and semen that is commonly the result of anal sex.  Rick, you're full of it, mate.  Full of santorum.  If Rick Santorum did, through some miracle, get the Presidential nomination, so definitive and resounding would his defeat be at the polls that he, as well as the sheep who had thrown their lot in with him, would never see political daylight again.  The simple fact is that the vast majority of American high-school students wish to go to college; even more (I seem to recall the figure being ninety-four per cent.) parents want this for their offspring. American families understand that the work force and the citizens of that great country must take the wheel in order to survive economically as individuals and as a country.  Anyone who says that there is a shortage of youth choosing a four-year university over a technical or trade programme is similarly out of touch.  The real problem is that there aren't enough graduates going either into university and succeeding there, or into a career college and succeeding there also.  America needs to stand and deliver.

Hey, at least we know to whom Santorum's campaign panders: the redneck, uneducated lowest common denominator that is the real problem with America today.  Why don't all the young folk just go fishin' in the water hole with uncle Bubba all day while he tells us about the facts of life; get a little sip o that fine country moonshine? Who needs all that book lurnin' anyhoo, thats for them fancypants libral city folk.  Rick?  Are you listening?