On cloud computing

So, back to your regular programming here at Dark of Days, the world's #1 aggregator of black coffee and morphine-induced ranting and raving.

Cloud computing.  Grr.  How I hate the name.  It stinks of the usual business-stroke-sales-and-marketing bullshit bingo buzzwords.  Like the word "convergence".  Or "seamless integration".  It sounds like just another phrase you slap onto a product to get it off the shelves quicker.  The funny thing is, it isn't.

Ten years ago, cloud computing existed under a different name.  It was used in computer-science courses at universities the world over, and in small businesses, and on a little Web site called SourceForge.  Back then, cloud computing was called "real-time collaboration".  Now, not many readers of this site know about a little programme called CVS; it was mainly used in higher education and in business, and it is still used mainly in those circles.

CVS was a small programme that ran on the command line.  No graphic elements whatever.  Its use is best explained by the following scenario: Alice, Robert, Thomas, Richard, and Henry are collaborating to author a book.  Alice is the proof-reader and checks the manuscript once a month for spelling errors; Robert is the typesetter and makes sure the manuscript is in appropriate style to be published, checking in five minutes every day; Thomas writes nine-to-five, Monday to Friday; Richard writes at odd times, including on weekends; and Henry writes every day on evenings.

How can the manuscript of the book be appropriately managed?  eMail would be very impractical; each person would need to keep a copy on their machines, periodically giving it to one person to reconcile with the others.  If that person would prove to be irresponsible, there goes the manuscript.  The answer is in what is called "cloud computing" today: a virtual whiteboard, upon which many can write.  CVS is a system that does just that: it collects different people's versions of what they feel a document should be, and if two people submit the same file at the same time, CVS has an elaborate system of checks and balances to make sure that nothing becomes corrupted.

Another example of cloud computing is what was then called "simultaneous sign-in"; one username and password would log in to a large number of Web services at the same time.  The most prolific of such services was Microsoft Passport, a service known by its users as "MSN".  One password would sign in to MSN Messenger and a whole host of other services; today, this same thing is called "Google Accounts" and operates Blogger, Google+, gMail, Google Docs, and many other such services.

Yet in the 1990s, such services were not much used; this just further adds to my theory that some developments in computer history must be made before or after others.

A Memorial to Steve Jobs

OK. So, as you all know, Steve Jobs resigned from Apple "for health reasons". He's been ill before. I'd conjecture his cancer turned terminal, and he's kicking it soon. He's been called a visionary, and a genius, and all sorts of other things; I'd actually care if he turned turtle, unlike, let's say, Bill Gates or Michael Dell.


A few of his products have changed my life. I'm typing this on my aluminium MacBook Pro with 17" screen and solid-state hard drive.  It wasn't always that way... in the 90s, Apple was well known for its clamshell-shaped plastic laptops (available in over ten colours) with an operating system with zero security and zero stability (I picked Windows 98 over it!).  Because it was such a useless, festering pile of equine excreta, it was rightly nicknamed "the bitty box" or "the toaster" by the cognoscenti.  This was, of course, when Steve Jobs wasn't around.


In 1996, Apple acquired a failing company known as NeXT, known for its obscure, but all-in-all awesome, UNIX-based workstation known as the NeXTCube.  This company was headed by Steve Jobs; when I heard of the acquisition, I thought, "Oh, great.  Another awesome company swallowed up by Big Business." 


It proved to be the other way 'round, though.  Apple had actually been swallowed up by NeXT; Apple after the acquisition became NeXT in all but name.  One day, Apple announced the release of "Mac OS X", a revolutionary (and that's puttin it mildly) operating system based on UNIX, a system used on large mainframes and the like (out of all mainframes and minis I've used, only the Cray CX1 uses Windows).  Of course, I had to have a try.  In all but name and graphics, it was NeXTStep.  They should have called it AppleStep or the like, since I associated the words "Mac OS" with the aforementioned toasters.  It ran on the G3 and G4 processors; I had the choice of desktop or laptop.  I chose the G4 laptop; the desktop, in those days (late 2002), was still the much-derided G3 "toaster".  


OS X was the single thing that gave Apple credibility in my eyes.  I don't care for looks, but when the G4 iMac came out, I was impressed.  Steve Jobs was Apple's saving grace.  Although Mac OS X Cheetah had serious issues when it came to missing features and performance, but the new code base (essentially, as I said, NeXTStep) fixed the two issues that plagued Classic Mac OS: memory management (i.e. stability) and security.  I usually draw an analogy here between Windows NT, Classic Mac/Windows, and X.  The security in Windows NT is comparable to storing your valuables in a locked drawer in your own home; in Classic Mac or Windows ME, it is comparable to storing them in a shoebox at the intersection of Yonge and Bloor (if you're from Toronto), Cornmarket and High (if you're an Oxonian), or Trafalgar Square (if you're a Londoner); in X, and therefore UNIX, it is comparable to storing your valuables at Fort Knox.  At this point in time, the Mac still used a PowerPC processor; this, sadly, meant that the choice of operating systems was very limited---either Linux or Mac UNIX.


I jumped for joy when the Mac became a PC, with Intel processor and all. They kept airing the stupid "I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC" commercials... it really ground my gears, because the Mac now was a PC.  I figure they kinda got it later, because the commercials were pulled.


Similarly, the iPod classic made my music experience all the better. No more Walkman, no more huge CD players that wouldn't fit in my pocket. Thanks, Steve, for revolutionising the very idea of portable music. Small, minimalistic, and metal. Thanks again.


Other products, though, I could care far less about. The iPod Touch and the iPhone, specifically. I had a test run with the iPhone to compare it with my venerable BlackBerry Bold 9700. The Bold easily won. The reasons were legion. First of all, it had a real keyboard that was sufficiently springy, almost like my Model M keyboard. I could do my homework on that thing... and did. Second, the Bold had removable batteries; I always carry an extra Bold battery with me. No such luck with the iPhone. Third of all, what the hell was with the operating system? The boys at RIM could do a better one with their eyes closed. I couldn't easily figure out how to place or receive a telephone call on the iPhone, and I had to ask a friend for help. I could also use BlackBerry apps I downloaded from the internet... you have to jailbreak the iPhone to do that, and that voids your warranty.


Now, the iPad suffers from many of these problems, but it is excused because of its size. With some hacking, I can connect a Model M and trackpad to the iPad, and have a fully functional workstation. I can't do that with the iPhone---I need a little keyboard, not a huge one like the M. I want a trackpad like I have on my Bold and my Torch. The only thing that really stinks about the iPad is iOS... you have to jailbreak it as above, and the UI stinks. Why didn't they use Mac OS X?!?!?


I don't know what'll happen when Steve finally kicks it. All I know is that I will know about it, and I will care. Good luck, Steve, and Godspeed.

Photo Opportunity

I missed a real good photo opportunity today.  Recently, in view of my pain problem, I have been (under medical supervision) self-injecting pain medications.  I don't mean cooking MS-Contins like a 'phine-freak, I mean intravenously injecting hypodermic tablets (the sort that dissolve with zero residue, or perhaps with a layer of residue lying still at the bottom of the glass) and ampoules.  All under medical supervision, of course.

However, to spare myself the all-too-frequent trips to the chemist for syringes and needles, I started to re-use old needles a few times before finally consigning them to the sharps bin.  This was OK until one day I became very, very sick, hardly being able to get out of bed.  I shivered like mad, too---had a fever of about 104.  Of course, I took Panadeine to drive the fever down, and finally was able to get outside.  When I instinctively looked at my arm, I saw a huge, swollen lump the size of an egg.  I figured I blew a vein, no biggie.

Well, what I saw today was a big, red lump, with minor bruising, and a bit of a boil (like an acne pimple) on top.  Feeling curious, I lanced the small boil, expecting nothing to come out of this wound.  I was wrong.  When I applied even minor pressure to the boil, enough pus came leaking out to fill a shot glass.  I should have taken a picture.  Wow.  Just wow.